Management's Comments !!

Is'nt this typical of any management ...

Question: How many feet do mice have?

Original Reply: Mice have four feet.
Management's Comment: Elaborate

Revision 1: Mice have five appendages, and four of them are feet.
Management's Comment: No discussion of 5th appendage!

Revision 2: Mice have five appendages; four of them are feet; one is a tail.
Management's Comment: What? Feet with no legs?

Revision 3: Mice have four legs, four feet, and one tail per unit-mouse.
Management's Comment: Confusing. Is that a total of 9 appendages?

Revision 4: Mice have four leg-foot assemblies and one tail assembly per body.
Management's Comment: Does not fully discuss the issue!

Revision 5: Each mouse comes equipped with four legs and a tail. Eachleg is equipped with a foot at the end opposite the body; the tail isnot equipped with a foot.
Management's Comment: Descriptive? Yes. Forceful No!

Revision 6: Allotment of appendages for mice will be: Four foot-legassemblies, one tail.
Management's Comment: Too authoritarian; stifles creativity!

Revision 7: Mice have four feet; each foot is attached to a small legjoined integrally with the overall mouse structural sub-system. Alsoattached to the mouse sub-system is a thin tail, non-functional andornamental in nature.
Management's Comment: Too verbose/scientific. Answer the question!

Final Revision Approved By Management: Mice have four feet.

Joke

A husband and wife were having dinner at a fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!" "Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."

The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce."

"I understand," replies her husband, "but remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But... the decision is yours."

Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks.

"That's his mistress," replies her husband.

"Oh," says the wife, "... Ours is prettier."

Cats & Physics

1 - Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by someoutside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurryingmouse.

2 - Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really goodreason to change direction.

3 - Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in directproportion to the darkness of the fabric.

4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of acat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

5 - Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap justtaken.

6 - Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position asuncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

7 - Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop that has anything remotely interesting on it.

8 - Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

10 - Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

11 - Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her todo something.

12 - First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Nice Sayings

When I Asked God for Strength
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face

When I Asked God for Brain & Brawn
He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve

When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People

When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Favours
He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed

- Swami Vivekananda

A Wise Philosophy

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a verylarge and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things. Your family, your children, your faith, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.The pebbles are the other things that matter; your job, your house, andyour car.The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the waste disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities.The rest is just sand."One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Happiness

Happiness Is A By-Product Of Activity

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement,

in the thrill of creative effort.

The human spirit needs

to accomplish,to achieve, to triumph to be happy.

Happiness does not come from doing easy work,

but from the afterglow of satisfaction

that comes after the achievement of a difficult task

that demands your best.

Your personal growth itself contains the seed of happiness.

You cannot pursue happiness by itself.

There is no happiness except in the realization

that you have accomplished something.

Happiness thrives in activity.

It's a running river, not a stagnant pond.

Positive Attitude

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs,...... who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...The race began...Honestly: No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as: "Oh, WAY too difficult!!They will NEVER make it to the top." or: "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high! "The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...... Except for those who in a fresh tempo were climbing higher and higher...

The crowd continued to yell "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up... ... But ONE continued higher and higher and higher... This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who after a big effort was the only one who reached the top! THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how the one who succeeded had found the strength to reach the goal? It turned out...That the winner was DEAF!!!! The wisdom of this story is: Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic......cause they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you.

The ones you have in your heart! Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore: ALWAYS be...POSITIVE!


And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that YOU can not fulfil YOUR dreams! Always think: I can do this...!

Love Match

Why don't you use this chart to find your match with your loved one ?